Red Salsa
by Bookworm.Purple
Summary: This is a dream I had about Homestuck involving (as the title says) salsa, Sollux's little brother (a pigment of my imagination), and a new flavor called "happy". The trolls in this fanfic are: that little pigment of my imagination, Karkat, Eridan, Aradia, Feferi, and Vriska. Please do not judge me or send me to an asylum after you read this. Disclaimer inside.


** (My first Homestuck story. I hope this goes well. . .)**

** Now, . . after you read this, please do not judge me. I don't think I was drunk, or even the slightest bit tipsy. . , but I had this **

**dream and . . , well, I'll just tell the story . . . **

**As Aradia says : 0_0**

**Disclaimer****: I **— **sadly **— **don't own Homestuck. Andrew Hussie does, and I bet I WOULDN'T KILL ALL MY CHRACTERS OFF IF I DANG **

**DID. The idea **—** well,** _**dream**_** does in fact belong to me. As you will soon see, I have a very weird imagination.**

_**ON WITH THE DREAM!**_

* * *

**Narrator: My dream self (no, not on Prospit or Derse)**

**OKAY, I DON'T THINK I EVEN ATE SALSA THAT NIGHT, **or drank one pint of influencing fluids (sopor slime and Faygo included), but this dream somehow found

its way into my think pan. Lets see, . . hmm. Well, for starters, for some reason, Sollux had a little brother (kinda impossible, but hey). I guess that one of the

Youtube vids I was watching made the trolls look slightly squished, so my mind interpreted it as that.

Another thing: the other trolls in my dream had my and my human friends' personalities, exept for Karkat of course. I was Vriska (my patron troll), Feferi was Abigail,

Eridan was Amy, and because my other friend is also Eridan, Sapphire was somehow Aradia.

Now, for some reason, Sollux's little bro hated the color red (feel sorry for Karkat). I dunno why.

John was getting the trolls to try human things, so he sent them the recipie to, as the title says, salsa (I dunno why on this one, too). They made it, and sat down at

the table to try it.

"T)(is isn't )(alf bad!" exclaimed Feferi.

"Meh. It's okay, 8ut it tastes too . . . happy," Vriska said lightly.

"And wwhy is happy noww a flavvor?" asked Eridan blandly.

"She pr0baly means that because 0f the tangy flav0r," explained Aradia placedly, " I belive that the humans call the red friut . . . t0mat0es."

"WELL, THATS A STUPID NAME," grumbled Karkat, staring at the candy-red like it was the worst thing ever. Curse John and his odd human tomatoes, and thier hue

having to be so simmilar to Karkat's blood color.

"C'mon, Karkat, -EAT up!" Feferi pushed the salsa bowl to him.

"NO THANKS," he scowled, "I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR CHOPPED FORIEGN FRUIT."

"Wwhy?"

"I DUNNO," said Karkat, annoyed. He did not want to share his blood color.

"It's not 8ad," said Vriska, "8ut it still tastes too happy."

")(appy is not a color, Vriska," pointed out Feferi again.

"You think I dont know that dum8 fact?"

"Please," said Aradia, "I d0 n0t want a fight breaking 0ut."

"Wwhatevver," said Eridan, "just eat the dang salsa, Karkat, it wwont kill you."

"THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK," Karkat muttered, "FINE, JUST STOP PESTERING ME . . ."

")(ow WOND-ERFUL!" said Feferi.

Just as Karkat was about to eat the salsa, Sollux's little brother burst in. He took in the scene before him.

"You guy2 are eatiing . . . red!" he accused.

"Yea, so wwhat? Wwe can eat wwhat wwe wwant," said Eridan.

"Red eaters! They're eatiing red!" exclaimed Sollux's bro.

"U)(m, w)(at?" asked Feferi, looking around at the other counfused trolls at the table.

"It seems he d0es n0t appr0ve of us eating the c0l0r red. H0w 00d." said Aradia.

"Iindespiicable! Red eaters!" Sollux's bro was getting mad.

"Ah, who else feels like running a 8it," suggested Vriska nervously.

"I'M IN," Karkat and the rest got up and started running, Eridan precariously holding the salsa bowl.

"You wiill not get away for eatiing red!" chased Sollux's little bro, "Get back here!"

")(a, N-EV-ER!" laughed Feferi.

"Aww, it looks like the little troll is gettin' tired!" said Eridan, spilling salsa all over himself.

"I find this 00dly interesting," Aradia was in front of all of them.

"Ii wiill arre2t you for the2e criimes!" Sollux's bro stopped to catch his breath.

"Nuhhhhhhhh-uh, I'll make sure luck is agaist you!" Vriska smiled cruelly.

And with that, the trolls ran off to go find a quieter place to finish thier red human chopped friut, or just make Karkat eat the rest.

**_~The End~_**

* * *

**. . . See why I was so worried?**

**Well, I hope this was good, since its my first Homestuck Fanfic . . .**

**I think it turned out okay. It was hard to find lines that ALWAYS used the speaking troll's typing quirk, exept for Karkat's (poor Karkat, I hope they **

**go easy on him with the salsa).**

**Spread the good news of the new flavor: happy.**

**~ Bookworm**


End file.
